MEN: No One Is Coming to Save You (And You Already Know It)

You cannot self reliance your way into intimacy. Intimacy requires exactly the muscle you never had to train, because you were too busy being the man who didn't need anyone to have to.

Here's what that actually looks like once I sit down with a man like you. It rarely looks like sadness. It looks like staying at the office later than the job requires. A temper that's shorter than it should be over things that don't really warrant it. Sleep you'll tell me is fine, except you can't remember the last time you woke up actually rested.

You won't call it shame. Almost none of the men I work with do, at first. But underneath the drive to always be enough, to always be the one who has it handled, that's usually exactly what's sitting there.

And here's the part that matters most. This didn't start with you. Somewhere back in your family, a man learned that suppression was safer than being seen. He passed that down without meaning to, the way these things get passed down, quietly, through what never got said rather than what did. It's not your fault that you inherited it.

It is, however, your responsibility to decide whether it continues.

That's the actual work. Not becoming less driven, not softening into someone you don't recognize. It's taking the exact discipline that built your career and your body and your bank account, and pointing it, for the first time, at the one place you've never trained it.

You don't need saving. Nobody is coming to do this part for you, the same way nobody came to build your business for you. But you don't have to figure out where to start on your own either. That's the difference between doing it alone and doing it without support, and it's the difference I exist to help you close.

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Originally published by Nita Chakrabarty at Magnetic Masculine Code. Republished with permission.